2 quarters, a dime & a nickel...

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

(When my dad turned 55 he told me that "he was 2 nickels old"...
does that explain the title.)

Pizza, family, cake, presents, extremely low-key, laughter, tribute...that sum's up my dad's birthday. Mom thought it would be fun to "roast" him at the party and asked "the girls" to be in charge, but how do you roast your father?? After weeks of gathering memories and hours of writing (okay we did spent some time laughing), here is what we loving call...

THE TRIBUTE...
Dad, we have a question for you. what does 1 terrific wife, 2 wonderful daughter, 4 sons, 5 in-laws and 11 cute grand kids equal?? The answer: this thousand word tribute.

Dad has always been on the cutting edge of fashion. with his favorite pair of cowboy boots and big belt buckle to a right yellow shirt with a picture of a cat on the front, and let's not forget, wearing woman's pants. His favorite accessory was once five maverick mugs, which he carried in a box.

One of his hidden talents is cooking. Dad has mastered the art of toast. He can make you plain toast, butter toast, jam toast or honey toast. If that doesn't appease your palate he can serve you a killer radish sandwich. His secret ingredient, besides love is salt. He salts watermelon, oranges, apples, raw potatoes and tomato juice in a cup. He is most known and loved for being the master of cheese fondue. We shouldn't leave out the four P's...Pepsi, Popcorn, Peanuts and Pinwheels.

His one true love, lets fact it, is his lawn mower and grass. He has earned the tittle "The Lawn Nazi". It has taken him years to achieve the grass he has today, after his first attempt was washed away. Growing up we were forbidden from laying out, swimming pools, slip-n-slides because it would "smash the grass". We have Diagnosed him with "L.M.W.", lawn mower withdrawal. Due to this condition he can't help but shovel snow off the grass so he can fertilize and mow during the winter months. Therapy for this disorder is mowing the grass in different directions every time one mows. We're concerned: Did he start mowing NDS's grass for extra money or a fix??

I'm sure that we are all guilty from repeating "Daddyism". Things like..."Not a minute from now, but now", "what part of no don't you understand", "don't make me come in there", and Kim's favorite, "I'm going to wire that headgear to your face".

Raising kids is not easy, let alone six. Let's just say that dad had some unusual techniques. Letting us whack each other with ten-key tape swords and the loving way he would wake us up...who doesn't like the bed kicked and light flipped on. How many times were we asked "you wanna lickin'"? During the summer months we had to head home when the street lights came on, but if we heard "the whistle" we came running. It's amazing that you survived teaching six kids to drive and you never had to jump out of the car, even if you were ready to. Unfortunately, we can't share any teenage memories because they still fall under the fifteen to twenty year stature of limitations. How much does a wedding cost? you don't know, because your only job was to "put up, show up, pay up and shut up." But seriously, it takes a special kind of Dad to take four kids to see "ET", and still be willing go drive six kids to Disneyland and Sea World.

Whether you try to or not you make us laugh. Remember being pulled out of the audience and dancing with the can-can girls at "The Golden Nugget Saloon". How about "on behalf of Wayne's sisters and brother...which is me" and let's not forget the classic dating story of only ordering Mom a hamburger. Remember Dad, Kim's the oldest, not Scott.

Sometimes we wondered if Daddy had any fears. After all he was the one who rode the scary rides with us at Lagoon. He rescued Kim from several giant spiders. He even fought with a monkey over a piece of chocolate licorice. Dad is allergic to bees, but did that stop him from attempting to remove a basket-ball sized wasp nest with a garbage sack? No!! Although, taking the family dog Barney to a "co-workers farm" was something he said he'd never do again.

Just when he thought life was going to calm down, Mom announced she was going to have twins. After the initial shock wore off they prepared the best they could to become a family of eight. We remember you having tears in your eyes as you told us that Kurtis was going to need to say in the hospital because he was having trouble breathing and praying with us that he would be okay. Mom appreciated you getting up with "the first twin" to feed, change and put back to sleep, even if you didn't know which one it was. How grateful we are that you didn't have to give the twins back because of the diapers and formula you brought home from work.

Driving with six kids can lead to some interesting road trips. The early days of us in the back of the truck fighting over who got to sit on "the hump" to being the only family with assigned seats in the gray Astro van. Dad learned early on that if Mom told him to pull over because someone was getting car sick you pull over or suffer the consequences. We never did drive to and from Yellowstone in one day, but we did survive being rained out on who knows how many trips to Bear Lake and driving in a snowstorm to Logan, with all eight of us crammed into the Volkswagen aka "the Barfignugen".

In case of emergency, call dad. But if you need help putting in your contacts or you're bleeding, Mom might need to be around. I'm sure you fondly remember your "kidney stone from hell" that didn't even get you out of that year's Pickett Picnic.

Happy Birthday Dad. Thank you. Thanks for coming to our ball games and dance recitals. Thanks for hiding various treats under your bed for us to snack on, buying us hot fudge sundaes on Sunday and Slurpees on the way home from Logan, staying up till we got home from dates and giving the evil eye that kept us quiet during sacrament meeting.

We love you. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Love,
KIMSCOTTKARENSHAWNKEVINKURTIS